I'm going to be as open an honest in this post because after all, I need to be honest with myself, growing up I always felt like the odd one out and being ginger never really helped things nor did have big ears which I eventually grew into, I was bullied horribly just for my hair colour and called Dumbo for my big ears, some may have seen it as a joke but because of this I was terrified of having my ears pierced in case they looked awful but at 15 I bit the bullet and got them done and you know what? they looked fine and even now I don't have an issue with the way my ears look. Imagine having to grow up and see yourself the way others see you because they took away your confidence? I am and always have been paranoid of how others see me, I try to be polite to others because it may just brighten up the rubbish day they're having and being nice and polite costs nothing. The way I see myself now isn't through others eyes, it's through my own and it's all because of Tim Burton and his wonderful movies, let me tell you a little bit more about how they helped.
As a young girl I loved the movie Edward Scissor hands, it was a movie that didn't have a happy ending but it has a message that a lot of people need to hear and that is that it's ok to be different and not everyone will like you nor understand you, people will always fear the unknown and that's not your fault it's something that society causes. When Peg Boots came across Edward she accepted him right away, she mothered him and saw he was vulnerable and wanted to protect him even though other people saw him as a monster, cut off from people for many years after his creator died before finishing him Edward was bound to act cautious and withdrawn, once Peg Boots brings Edward home his welcome was far from nice, people judged him by the way he looked and turned their nose up at him that was until they found out he could cut their hair into cool new hairstyles. They used him to their benefit and that was the only reason they were accepting of him which is unfair and cruel to do.
Being different to my other sisters I always felt that I stood out but in a bad way, I would often get asked how am I related to my sisters when they all have dark hair and I'm ginger, I got bullied so badly for the colour of my hair that by the age of 16 when my parents finally allowed me to dye it I was relieved because I thought people would like me better now but alas now I'm older the people who bullied me for my hair love the colour ginger and it baffles me as to why I got so much shit over it in the first place. I went down a dark route in my life over a number of years, it's a hard place to get out of and I always felt as if I should keep it to myself otherwise people would just tell me to get other so when I came across more of Tim Burtons movies I felt like I could be myself more, you see Tim Burton's movies are dark at times but they also see on the bright side of things and I would often see the message behind them and take on board what I interrupted.
Tim Burton has a different style for his movies but they all have that dark and gothic vibe which is what makes me so drawn to his work, I remember when he was filming part of Alice in Wonderland in Charlestown and me and my family went down there to see if we could meet him and we did, he was very friendly and made everyone laugh, he even accidentally walked into a horse that was standing still! Talking of Alice in Wonderland, his adaption of the book turned out beautifully and portrays Alice perfectly, especially when she starts off with a lot of self-doubts much like I felt when I was unsure of where my writing would go but by the end of the movie she found her confidence and knew what she wanted and I feel like I'm at that stage in my life, so Alice is very relatable and comes across as your typical teenager unsure of what lies ahead in life which is what I struggled with in my teens.
The movies that resonated with more than anything would have to be his animated movies, they're so unique and out there that I don't think anything else could compete with them because his style is so particular and rare to come across. The Corpse Bride is a movie that hit a nerve, the living world is so dark and gloomy full of people just getting by yet the world of the dead is bustling and full of those who have died making the most of their death, the characters living in the living world are just doing what they have to do instead of enjoying what life has to give it made me think about what I may be missing out on in life if I don't let a little bit of enjoyment and happiness in which I'm getting better at doing now even though I do suffer terribly from anxiety and depression and my Chronic illness is a pain in the arse.
Now I'm not saying all of Tim Burton movies are brilliant but a lot of them have had an impact on who I am today, when I would be at my lowest I would find myself watching his movies or Studio Ghibli movies but the ones I do enjoy have stuck with me throughout my life and helped me discover who I am as a person and that I shouldn't hide from others. It's taken me a while to get to this to point if I'm honest because of the sensation of feeling like an imposter, this isn't an uncommon thing that people deal with, to be honest, I have spoken to loads of people who deal with this feeling now and then and thankfully my feeling's of being an imposter have become less and less as I allowed myself to feel happy for my accomplishments instead of doubting them and I have Tim Burtons movies to thank for that, once you find something that helps you express who you are it gets a lot easier to accept that you're not an imposter at all, I like who I am and I don't want to ever change that.
Elle May
Comments
Any hate will not be published.